It’s been another eventful couple of weeks since my last post. Never a dull moment in my life! From watching my pregnant girlfriend melt in the heat to trying to rescue her from the bathroom, it’s always an entertaining time with Amy. All whilst our baby grows more and more every day.
So recently we’ve experienced a bit of a heatwave. I use the word heatwave very lightly. In this country three days of sun classes as a heatwave. We all go slightly insane when the sun comes out. But then of course, we have to moan about how hot it is as well. It’s the British way.
With my partner being pregnant, it slightly takes away the excitement of it being hot. The expectation is that you’ll be relaxing on a deckchair with a cold beer in the garden, whereas the reality is more hiding in the shade rubbing in a full bottle of suncream. It’s safe to say that the heat does not agree with Amy, even at the best of times, never mind 6 months into a pregnancy. She wouldn’t even go near me in the bedroom, and I don’t mean what you are thinking you dirty lot! Having a cuddle at the end of the day was becoming impossible. Our intimacy lasted about 5 seconds and then Amy was ‘too warm’ and rolled back over to her side…she could have just stuck to the more typical excuses of ‘I’m tired’ or ‘it’s that time of the month’. Obviously she couldn’t use the second one with her being pregnant, I wouldn’t be falling for that one! Whilst it was about a million degrees and she’s carrying a larger than average child in her belly, I let her off with the lack of cuddle time.
Baby Austin is still continuing to grow and develop. We are now at nearly 27 weeks, which means that he now weighs just short of 2 pounds and measures about 14 inches. Also, this is the point where his testicles should soon begin to descend into his scrotum. Congrats son you are now officially a little boy. You aren’t a man until your testicles descend into your scrotum, that’s just common knowledge. I’ve also been told by my partner that his ears are becoming more sensitive, and it would be a good idea to talk to him more often, so that when he is born he will be more likely to be soothed by my voice. I tried to have a little chat with him, he wasn’t very responsive. Felt like a right tool talking to my partner’s bump, but then it’s important to realise that he can actually hear me.
I have also been given a baby checklist with a load of things that I’m now responsible for. Looks like he won’t be getting these items then! There’s things on the list that I didn’t even know existed. There’s a cosytoe, never heard of that…a parasol, no idea what this is…top and tail bowl, completely lost at this point. Makes me realise how completely useless I would be at this parenthood thing without my partner.
This has got to be the highlight of my year, never mind my week. I came home from work recently expecting to have a quiet, relaxing night. I was very wrong. I opened the front door and instantly heard a little voice from the bathroom…”Babe, I’m stuck in the bathroom!”. Right okay, I’m going to walk out and walk back in and pretend that I didn’t hear that. This isn’t what I did, obviously I ran to my pregnant girlfriend’s aid like a superhero.
So the problem was that the handle had broken as she had closed the door, so that she could not open the door again. She has been there for about 20 minutes before I had got home, this was hilarious on my side of the door, not so much inside the bathroom. In my head, the situation was supposed to go that I would come in, break down the door and rescue her. It was going to be so romantic and I was going to look so cool doing it.
For a second, I forgot how ridiculously pathetic I am at anything DIY. The best I could manage was to walk up to the door and turn the handle…”Yeah, I think it’s broken”. My assessment of the situation was impeccable. After 5 minutes of continuously trying the handle I realised that I needed some help. We called my partner’s parents to come round. Even Dave’s screwdriver and Shirley’s Tesco Club Card couldn’t open the door! We were in trouble here. There was only 13 weeks left until my partner would go into labour! What if she was stuck there until then and I’d have to explain to my son that he was born on the bathroom floor. I may have slightly over-exaggerated the situation. I had to think positive, at least with her stuck in the bathroom I could have full control of the TV and not have anyone nagging me to do the chores.
Luckily for us, we live next door to a fire station and I decided that I would have to go and knock on ask them to come round with their special screwdriver or whatever they use and get her out. I felt so stupid knocking on the door. It took 3 attempts for someone to let me in. Being the awkward person I am, I started off the conversation with… “So this is going to sound really bizarre, but…” I explained the problem to the fireman and he just looked at me like I had three heads. I bet he thought that I was on drugs or pissed off my face. His response was…”Right…okay…let me go and get the boss”.
Now I thought that I’d just be walking back with one fireman who was going to bring his equipment and this would be over within 10 minutes. How very wrong I was. What I was presented with was a fire engine, sirens and four fireman driving out of the fire station, and into our apartment buildings 10 feet to the left. How embarrassing.
I’m surprised that the rest of residents in our apartment weren’t all screaming and evacuating the building. No need to panic everyone, there’s no fire, my partner is just stuck in the loo. It took four fireman to work out how to get the door open. I was starting to feel like this was some sort of magical door that only opened if you spoke to it nicely or touched it in the right place. It was like trying to open Pandora’s box.
Eventually I think they just got tired of trying to work it out and just got an extremely large crowbar and pulled it open. I’m sure they all had a right good laugh at us when they got back to the fire station. Either that or they were pissed that we had disturbed them for something so ridiculous. Either way, we had an interesting story to tell to our son when he’s older.
I’d love to hear about any interesting stories from your week. See if you can beat my bathroom rescue story. Leave them in the comments section below.
13 weeks left!