Bonding with someone that you have never met seems like a strange concept. Everyone tells you when the baby is born, nature will take over and you will have an instant bond with your child. This may be true, but why wait until they are born to start that bond. There are plenty of ways that father’s can begin the bonding process whilst the baby is still ruining the mother’s body from the inside.
Talk To The Bump
Babies can start to hear familiar voices and sounds from around 22 weeks, so your unborn child will be able to hear your voice from then on. As crazy as it might look, get up close to your partner’s bump and start talking to it. You may look slightly mental, but your child will start to become familiar to your voice. Tell your child all about your life plans, tell them all about their crazy mother, even talk to them about the football and which team they must support when they are older. It may seem like a small action, but it might just make the face to face meeting with your child a little less daunting….
“Hi, we’ve never met before, I’m your father and I’m going to be looking after you for the next 18 years”
It is also a good idea to sing to your unborn child, however this is one that I have not tried myself. The sound of my shrieking would mean my little boy would be clinging onto the sides of the womb, pleading to stay in there.
Feel Them Kicks
Get your partner to lie on her back so that you can put your hand on her belly. This requires some serious persuasion and a lot of luck. Baby could be kicking all day long, but as soon as you go to feel them, they decide it’s time for a nap. It’s an incredible feeling if you are lucky enough to feel a kick. It’s also nice to know that they are definitely still in there and haven’t escaped. Another way you could do this is to put your head against your partner’s bump and see if your child can sense you there. Chances are they’ll want to kick you in the head for disturbing them so it’s a win win for you both. Let your partner take control of this one, she can tell when the baby is booting her in the ribs, she’ll know when the right time to try is.
Attend The Scans
Attending the scans is a great way of bonding with your unborn child, as you will be able to see him up on screen, giving you a little wave or in my case, waving his rather large third leg in our faces. If you are still at the stage of denial that you are going to be a dad, the scans can be a pleasant reminder that yes, this is actually happening. It may be a good idea to get pictures of the scan and put them in frames around the house. This way you will constantly be reminded of what your child looks like.
Do Your Research
If like me, you are completely new to the concept of being a parent, it is important to do your research and read up as much as you can about what being a dad involves, and what you can do to support your partner through her pregnancy. It’s also a good idea to create a support network with other fathers, as they will know exactly what you are dealing with. Then you will have somebody to give you advice when you have a screaming child, a nappy full of shit and no clue whats happened to your life.
If anyone has any other tips or wants to share their stories, please leave them in the comments section below.