Pregnancy

Nice to meet you, I’m dating your daughter

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Under Pressure

If any guy wants to experience real pressure, then go round and meet your girlfriends parents for the first time. There will never be a more pressurised moment than this, as this first impression will last for the rest of your relationship. A wrong move could result in a kick to the curb and the end of the relationship. However, if they liked me, I could have a second family. I might be calling them mum and dad some day. Maybe I was thinking a little bit too far ahead.

It doesn’t matter how lovely your girlfriend is, or how lovely she tells you her family is, meeting the new parents is shit scary! I’ve seen how it goes in the movies, as soon as the dad gets you alone he pins you up against the wall by the throat and warns you that if you ever hurt his daughter you’d be walking out with no head. My imagination doesn’t help my nerves in the slightest. I’m not good with scary people, surprisingly, they scare me, and I turn into a puddle of mess on the spot. Maybe I should see how much full protective bodysuits are, I might be needing one. I wasn’t too worried about meeting Amy’s mum, I mean, mum’s always love me, I’m a delight what can I say.

Protective Gear On, Time to Go

I put on some smart clothes and made sure I was smelling half decent, and headed round to Amy’s. Luckily, I didn’t have to meet them straight away, as they were both still at work, so I settled myself on the sofa with Amy and attempted to think about anything but the encounter that I was about to have. It wasn’t long though until I heard a car pull up outside, and I knew this was it. Final checks…still smelling good, check. Looking good, debatable but check. Stopped kissing their daughter…check. I heard the door open and waited for the big scary man and his wife to come in. What I saw however, was anything but big and scary. Dave was smaller than me with muscles as big as mine…non-existent! (I can say this now, he likes me). He greeted me with a serious face, but I could tell that he was a joker and wouldn’t be keeping a straight face for long. Shirley wasn’t much scarier, but it was quite obvious who wore the trousers in this relationship. Shirley is blunt and straight to the point, so I felt that if she didn’t like me, I would probably find out quite quickly. It was clear to me at this point that the Wilson women were a force to be reckoned with, and that Dave’s submission was something that I would be experiencing with Amy before long.

The Rest of the Gang

Not only did I meet Amy’s parents, it was not long until I was meeting Amy’s sister Kathryn, her partner Mark, and their beautiful little daughter Evelyn. I’m not sure that Evelyn was too keen of me at first, a strange guy in her grandparents house, it must be a lot for a young child to process. This didn’t last for too long thankfully, I mean I’m not that scary really, just a bit weird.

I highly recommend getting to know this family for yourself, as they are quickly becoming an internet sensation thanks to Mark’s fantastic blog called The Honest Father. www.thehonestfather.com. Full of hilarious and informative posts about the ins and outs of becoming a dad. Definitely worth a read.

So to all the guys who have recently met someone and are worried about meeting the parents, here’s a quick checklist to help you out. If you follow this I assure you, you will survive just like I did.

Checklist for Meeting the Parents

  1. Dress well
  2. Be polite
  3. Call them Mr and Mrs, until told to do otherwise
  4. Treat your partner well
  5. Use good manners
  6. Don’t shit your pants, they are never going to be as scary as you think they are
  7. Be yourself

Oh and one more important tip…

Don’t scare the niece, it doesn’t make you look great!

 

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